Desperate Times Requires Desperate Measures
by FreudTastic
Summary: Sanji's been having a big depression over his failed attempts of dating Nami and Robin. Zoro goes in to cheer him up... but who knows what that will end up in? SanZo Oneshot. YAOI! Don't like it, don't read it.


**DISCLAIMER: One Piece is the property of Eiichiro Oda and TvTokyo, I do not own One Piece or any of its characters. This is a purely Fanmade fiction

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A deep, heavy sigh was heard in the kitchen cabin of the pirate ship Going Merry, as a man, dressed in a black tuxedo-looking outfit with a blue shirt underneath, black polished shoes, and a black tie reached for a bottle of wine, taking a sip of it before slamming the bottle down on the table. His blonde hair was a mess, all ruffled up and saggy-looking, but still had its trademark appearance of covering his left eye, leaving his right eye visible. Sanji was a wreck, as he yesterday had finally realized the harsh, unavoidable truth; he was nowhere close – not even an inch close – to having a relation with either of the Straw Hat girls. Nami had numerous times rejected his attempts, and Robin simply seemed to ignore him, like he was thin air. The only thing that seemed to _matter_ to them was his food, like everyone else on the god-forsaken ship. Sighing again, Sanji lit a cig and puffed on it for awhile while taking a sip from another bottle he had just opened, coughing a bit at the mixed flavors of the strong drink and the nicotine. He slouched down on the table, just wishing one thing;

'_Just lemme die already…'_ he was in a deep depression, feeling like there was a hole in his chest. A hole that could only be filled in with one thing, which was love. He felt like he had been forgotten and left alone by his fellow crew members, just being left here to sip on his wine till' the end of his days. It made his heart sink deep in his chest as he thought of that possible scenario, but what hurt him more was that no one seemed to care if he would die in here, all alone. He had been left to _rot_. The mere thought made Sanji's eyes well up in tears, and soon enough, he found himself smacking his forehead to the table, shuddering and sobbing for himself as he felt the loneliness creep up his back like a cold blanket, covering him slowly and surely in its grasp. He felt like he just wanted to die, right there and now. But deep inside himself… Sanji also hoped that someone would begin to care for him… maybe even love him.

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"C'mon, why me?" Zoro argued as the other Straw Hats demanded of him to go and check on whether Sanji was going to come out of the kitchen or not, since everyone – except Zoro of course – was riled up of Sanji's behavior.

"Because everyone except **you** have something important to do, Zoro!" Nami scolded at the swordsman, like she usually did. "You just lie around on your lazy bum doing nothing! So you'd better make some use of yourself while you're at it!"

"I need to give him a check-up, too!" Chopper chimed in. He had loved to go inside himself and help Sanji, but just a few days ago, Usopp had been in a real nasty fall off the mast and broken his leg, so he was all busy helping him. "I could smell alcohol from outside the kitchen, and I'm worried he's trying to drink himself to death!" everyone looked slightly flustered at Chopper's theorizing, and only urged on Zoro further to go and see Sanji. Finally giving up, the swordsman gave off a low grunt and nodded.

"Fine, fine… I'll go see what's up with the Ero-cook…" he sighed, cursing Sanji's name in his head slightly for having him do this instead of his usual slacking near the mast. What had happened to him, anyway? Not that he cared really, he was just curious on what the chef was doing in there all alone. He sighed as he was near the door, and knocked on it. "Umm… Sanji? You ok in there?" he asked slowly, in a slightly annoyed tone. Sanji – who was still sobbing over his loneliness – lifted his head slightly as he heard Zoro's knocking on the door and asking if he was ok. Finally, someone who cared for him! Even if he wasn't fully happy, it made him smile slightly, before his usual frown returned, looking into the table.

"U-Umm… yeah, I'm fine…" he said slowly, fiddling his thumbs slowly. Zoro heard the slight distress in his voice, and for some reason… Zoro was worried as well. Sanji didn't sound even close as bad as Nami and Chopper had explained. Far from it… he sounded like he had it _worse_ than they told him. A throb was felt in the swordsman's already heaving chest, and he grasped his hand over his shirt to stop it.

"Mind if I… y'know, come in?" he surprisingly asked, both surprising for himself, and for the blonde inside the kitchen. Sanji had never heard Zoro ask anything like that, and never thought he'd hear the question come from him. "You sound like you're kinda down. So, maybe I can cheer you up?" Sanji smiled again, but even this time, it was just briefly, before his smile faded away, and he slouched down on the table again. What if Zoro was just tricking him, like he usually did, just to tease him? Or was he serious this time? He sure sounded serious. Well, more annoyed than serious, Sanji noted; he must have been forced by the others to look for him. Sighing, he just nodded.

"Whatever… just come in if you wanna…" he groaned, holding his head as a migraine began kicking in from all the wine. Sighing, Zoro was heard opening the door, the hinges creaking slightly as he did so, and looked inside. He was slightly shocked to see Sanji being such a wreck, lying down near a dozen of wine bottles, his cig in his mouth, and him in general being a big mess. He went up to him and sat down near him, pulling up a chair next to him, lifting the blonde man up in a sitting position.

"Oi, you're like a wreck, ain't ya?" Zoro said with a slightly caring voice, looking at Sanji's face; he was truly a wreck, with red, tear-filled eyes and a big frown all over it. Zoro didn't know why he suddenly began caring for Sanji, but seeing him in a wreck like this… it sort of hurt him. Real bad. He put a hand on Sanji's shoulder, which made the blonde jerk up slightly and look at him. "Talk to me, Sanji… how are ya?" Sanji just sighed and looked down again.

"Terrible…" he said slowly, reaching for another wine bottle, but felt something grasp his palm, stopping him. He looked to see Zoro's hand holding his, stopping him to further poison himself with alcohol. He sighed again, pulling back his hand. "I just realized that… Nami-San and Robin-Chan will never be mine… y'know? They're out of my league… it's hopeless for me. I'm just a perverted chef…"

"Don't start cryin' on me, Ero-cook…" Zoro sighed. Sure he cared… but he had his limits.

"I-I just can't help it, Zoro! For fuck's sake, put yourself in my shoes for awhile, and feel how I have it!" Sanji suddenly barked, standing up and slamming his hand in the table. But both the sudden ascending of his head, and the slamming noise made him unstable, and he began to tumble around, his knees buckling under him as he fell. Zoro instantly rushed up to help Sanji, and caught him just in time, holding him in his arms.

"Oi, oi! Take it easy, will ya." The green-haired one said, looking down on the blonde in his arms. He looked knocked out, since his eyes were shut, and his mouth was slightly open. Sighing and rolling his eyes, Zoro carried over Sanji to a nearby couch in the kitchen, putting him down on it and sitting near him. He would only sit close to him until he would wake up, and only stay with him until he could stand up on his own. Not shorter, not longer. Then he'd be off to his own stuff. But then again, as he looked down at Sanji slightly sleeping… he could not help to think he looked kind of cute. He had never thought that he'd find men _cute_… but with Sanji, it was just something special. Perhaps it was his situation that made Zoro take pity on him or something, but he just could not put his finger on what it was. Sighing as he was about to stand up, he felt Sanji grab his shirt, as he was waking up.

"Z-Zoro… I-I just, um… wanted to ask you something." Sanji said slowly, as he sat up even slower, looking at the green-haired swordsman. Zoro was quite annoyed right now, as in the fact that the blonde had much more in mind that he'd expect. He looked at Sanji, however, and saw him smile slightly again as their eyes looked at each other. "I-I just, umm… since Nami-San and Robin-Chan won't seem to be with me… I-I just wanted to know if… y-you wanted to love me?" did Zoro hear right? Was Sanji asking if… he would _**love**_ him? That was it. He stood up and looked at Sanji with a disgusted look on his face. "I-I guess that's a no… right?" Sanji asked with a sigh.

"You bet your ass it is." Zoro growled slightly, but then calmed down and sighed. "Sorry. I'm just not put 'that way', catch what I mean? Now if you'll excuse me, I will be heading out again…" he turned around and was about to walk out, but was surprised as he felt Sanji grab his wrist firmly, and before he had time to react, the blonde pushed him to a wall, pinning him there while smirking at him. Zoro was sort of desperate to get loose, but the chef held him amazingly hard to the wall, refusing to go. "S-Sanji! What the fuck, get off me!" Zoro said, but before speaking further, the blonde pressed his lips against Zoro's bare neck, kissing and sucking it slowly with his lips. These actions caused the swordsman to tense over a bit, and felt a slight moan escape his lips as Sanji carefully kept on sucking his neck deviously. His tongue slowly lapped along his skin as well, causing Zoro to moan louder as Sanji licked further up his neck, towards his cheek, and finally his lips. "S-Sanji… what the heck…"

"I-I'm sorry, Zoro…" Sanji whispered seductively, before kissing Zoro's cheek slightly. "I-I can't help myself, Zoro… I-I need someone to love… right now." He looked into Zoro's eyes deeply, before he closed in on his lips, kissing him passionately and slowly. The green-head's eyes flew wide open as the chef's lips connected with his own, feeling the man passionately kissing him while feeling his hands gently rub along his body, caressing him. Zoro felt his head spin a bit, feeling dizzy and sort of _weak_ as Sanji was doing this to him, his legs wobbling and his eyes being half-lidded by now. He had never experienced anything like this before, and didn't believe that he'd ever experience the ecstasy of a kiss. Not at least with a guy, and _**certainly**_ not Sanji! But now… he really didn't care. He'd care less if it was Sanji, Luffy, or anyone else. He just enjoyed this to no end, and didn't want it to stop. Sadly, Sanji was the one holding the ropes, and he decided the kiss was at an end, their lips breaking apart, still connected by a string of mixed saliva.

"W-Why… why did you stop?" Zoro asked, in a sort of whine, really. He wanted it to continue. Normally he'd spit and slap Sanji's face and marched out… but right now, he just felt that it had been the most wonderful moment in his entire life, and as sad as it was, it had stopped. Sanji just smirked at the swordsman, and his hand began groping at the groin area of Zoro's pants. Feeling said pants tighten up, Zoro groaned out in ecstasy and delight, feeling Sanji squeeze and fondle his ever-bulging pants.

"Getting a little tight, is it?" Sanji asked with a smirk, and knelt down and held the swordsman's pants. "Let's have a look, shall we~?" before Zoro could protest against the blonde's suggestion, Sanji began unbuttoning his pants and pulling them down slowly, revealing his simple green-colored boxer shorts, which were hiding a rather big bulge. Grinning with lust – both because of his desperation, and from still being slightly drunk – the blonde chef began groping and touching the swordsman's groin, causing Zoro to moan out loud. Sanji grinned even wider at the unusually submissive noises that the green-haired man made right now, and began pulling his underwear a bit. But surprisingly, he was stopped as Zoro grabbed Sanji's hands, and looked down at him. Sanji looked up as well, being surprised that the swordsman tried to be _dominant_ in the position he was in.

"S-Sanji…" he panted, his breath being ragged and irregular, small sweat beads falling down his forehead and past his face, while his crotch was throbbing more and more in excitement. "I-I know you're desperate and all that, but… f-for fuck's sake, dude… calm down. You're acting like a beast in heat…" he saw Sanji's clear desperation by merely looking into the blonde's eyes, and sighed heavily as he rolled his eyes. "Fine then… at least lemme make it better for _both_ of us…" a quick smirk was seen on his face; even though he'd probably hate himself after this, at least it would help Sanji from making a possible, future suicidal attempt. He dropped off his own boxers, revealing his throbbing dick on about eight inches, and while Sanji had a few seconds to admire it, Zoro followed up by sliding down the wall a bit, sitting down near Sanji's crouching position, spreading his legs a bit.

"Zoro… I-I dunno how to thank you, I-I-I am-" Sanji was silenced as the swordsman hushed at him and pressed an index finger to his lips, making the chef blush even more than he already did, his entire face being red. Zoro sort of smiled at Sanji, being kinda amused by his sudden shyness and stammering voice. He nodded at Sanji, signaling that it was his time to undress. Sanji understood after awhile, nodding slowly as he began to undress his suit and blue shirt, pulling them off his torso. Zoro grinned a bit while looking at Sanji's body. Not quite the body of a warrior, like himself, but still slim and well-toned. Sanji proceeded with pulling down his pants and finally his underwear, showing his own eager cock, being on a length of at least seven and a half inches. "I-I dunno if I wanna do this, Zoro… i-it feels sort of wrong…"

"What, that you wanna fuck me?" Zoro chuckled a bit. "Listen Sanji… I was kinda shocked when you started kissin' me and all that… but now when I think of it, it was kinda enjoyable. So, don't worry with goin' another step in this, okay? I think I'll like whatever you have in store for me… if you're gonna move over to me sometime." Zoro then gave off a warm, gentle smile. Sanji had never actually seen Zoro _smile_ before, so this was something new for him. Either way, he felt more confident now that the swordsman encouraged him, and nodded slowly before scooting up to him, their hips grinding against each other which made both of them moan slightly. "C-C'mon… stop being a tease…" Zoro grinned and moaned, feeling Sanji align his cock with the green-head's opening.

"Alright then, shitty Marimo-head…" Sanji jokingly scolded Zoro, winking at him before grabbing onto his thighs. "Get ready… this might hurt a bit…" being ready for any kind of pain, Zoro nodded and clenched his eyes shut a bit, before he felt Sanji press his manhood against his ass, and after a few seconds, he gasped as he felt the sensation of his shaft sliding into him. The feeling was sort of alien for Zoro, but after a few minutes, he began enjoying it, moaning out loud as Sanji began to slide in and out with a slow pace. The blonde was moaning as well, grasping the swordsman's hips by now. "G-Gosh, Zoro… y-you're so tight…"

"Y-You're one to talk, Ero-cook… you're as big as a fuckin' log…" Zoro gasped out, clenching his teeth while his eyes half-lidded to look up at Sanji's face. His face was truly beautiful, he had to admit. Or at least pretty, in a cute way. Smiling up at him, he noticed the chef smiling back, before he lowered his head to the green-head and kissing his lips sweetly. Moaning, Zoro accepted the kiss this time, his own lips kissing the blonde back while said blonde kept thrusting in and out of his tight ass, stretching him more and more with each thrust. Both he and Sanji were in a sort of ecstatic trance, not caring about time or space. All that existed now was the two of them, and it was the only thing that mattered, for that part. Zoro moaned while Sanji's dick rubbed deep in his insides, going slightly deeper each time.

"M-Mmhhh… f-fuck, Zoro… this feels so good…" Sanji said while breaking their kiss, a bit of spit still connecting their lips while he moaned out. He began pushing a bit harder into the swordsman's rear, and heard Zoro gasp loudly as he hit a certain 'lump' inside of Zoro's ass. "W-Wow, I… never thought I'd reach that far into ya…" he grinned slightly with the spare energy he had, as he knew he had hit Zoro's prostate.

"J-Just shut up and keep fucking me…" Zoro begged. And that's just what the blonde had in mind. Smirking and holding Zoro's hips a bit tighter, Sanji sped up his pumps if only a bit, causing Zoro to moan even louder in ecstasy as his prostate was repeatedly rammed into. He felt his cock throb violently, and Sanji smiled, deciding to ease Zoro's pent-up pain. He reached down to Zoro's cock, and began stroking it softly. Moaning more, the swordsman threw his head back, knowing he had little if no time left until he'd explode. "F-Fuck… S-Sanji… f-fucking shit, I-I'm… gonna cum…" the chef grinned at this, albeit a bit surprised that Zoro had such low limit. He began stroking him more quickly, although he felt his own orgasm coming up from fucking Zoro's tight, warm ass.

"Y-Yeah… s-same here…" he grunted, feeling Zoro's ass tighten up a bit more, due to his closing orgasm. "C-Cum for me, Zoro… and I'll cum inside you…" giving it his all, Sanji began thrusting with all he had, his hips literally smacking into Zoro's with loud noises and his grunts becoming more frequent. Finally, neither of them could hold it, and to silence each other, they both kissed each other deeply and moaned loudly as they came. Zoro's cock throbbed violently as he sprayed his cum all over Sanji's chest and some of it even hit his chin, while Sanji's dick exploded in Zoro's ass, filling him to the brim with his seed. After a few minutes, Zoro could actually feel some of it leak out of his butthole, but he didn't care as he still kissed Sanji, both of them feeling their orgasms subside. As the afterglow swept over them, both broke their kiss, panting heavily, their chests heaving.

"D-Damn, Ero-cook…" Zoro gasped heavily, looking up at Sanji with a slightly dimmed look in his eyes. "Y-You're damn good at fucking… guess you're not all talk and no action…" Sanji grinned at this, licking Zoro's neck a bit. "Guess that you're not as depressed as you were back then, aye?" he asked with a grin.

"Nope… Not. The. Slightest." Sanji smirked, and by each word he pronounced, he gave Zoro's cheeks a light rub, finishing with a kiss on his lips. He smiled at him, before standing up – his dick sliding out of Zoro's ass – and getting dressed after wiping off the cum from his chest. Zoro smirked and stood up as well, pulling up his underwear and pants, then pulled on his shirt again. As quickly as his shirt was on, he felt Sanji hug him tightly, kissing his cheek. Zoro rolled his eyes slightly, but gave off a mere chuckle, kissing Sanji back.

"You silly Ero-cook." He chuckled, which made Sanji sort of giggle. Nodding, the blonde nuzzled Zoro's neck a bit.

"You idiotic Marimo-head~" he mused, before he felt slightly dozy again. Noting this, Zoro carried him over to the kitchen couch, putting him down and covering him with a blanket. Looking down one last time at the blonde chef, Zoro could not help but to smile at him softly, ruffling his blonde hair a bit before he went out of the kitchen, closing the door behind him.

"Zoro! Is Sanji ok? Will he make it?" the others came with one question after the other, but Zoro just answered them all with one answer;

"Believe me… he's more than ok. And if he won't cheer up… I'll gladly go back inside."


End file.
